The Key to Self Care
Self care is a term that is used a lot more frequently now than in recent years, yet what does it actually mean?
For me the key is the practice of self care is very personal and means various things to different people. The reason to practice is the same, to take better care yourself , emotionally, physically and psychologically, in order for you to be the best version of you.
Repeat after me: A better world starts with the best version of me.
Sounds a little self centred , doesn’t it? Well I want you to embrace that feeling for a moment. Let it settle into your body and make itself comfortable . Because I want to help you understand how focussing on your own health and wellness can lead to a better world.
Self Care - say it out loud .
Your “Self” is bigger than you. We feel guilty about self care because it goes against everything we have been taught about being a good human being, let alone an effective activist. Self care means putting ourselves first and we have been conditioned to believe this is wrong and selfish, real change makers are meant to suffer and endure hardship , proper nutrition, healthy relationships, and exercise are frivolous, right ? Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Malala Yousafzai- these individuals are forever linked to self sacrifice and suffering. Martin Luther King didn’t have time for self care!
The word “self” has a negative connotation in this context because it seems to only be about the individual, but we need to expand our view of the “self” beyond the individual to include everyone we touch: Our families, our communities , the whole of the natural world. When we practice self care, we hone our interactions with everything around us: We protect the world around us. Imagine the powerful transformation that would happen, if everyone took care in this way.
Self Care is not a virtue. It’s the means by which you make your work consistent with what you want to create in this world.
Self care is inclusive. It’s for everyone, women, men, minorities and individuals who are struggling to make ends meet. It is not just the purchase of goods and services that are indulgent and frivolous. This is one of the reasons self care is also seen as an “occasional“practice.
Self care is a collective goal, not a commodity good. In order for us to collectively be successful, this is an essential paradigm shift that needs to happen. Only when the organisations we support, run and invest our time and money in, start viewing self care as a pillar, rather than a luxury, will we begin to see liberty and justice for all. Only when we each take responsibility for ourselves and our compassionate hearts, will we be able to achieve our unalienable rights of life, liberty and happiness.
Self care can be really hard because it is a long term play. Ironically, so is our political and social justice work. We all know that very rarely if ever, do landscapes change overnight, but we fail to understand that this also applies to our well being. It is much easier for us to make decisions that feel good right now [quick fixes] than it is to have the discipline to make decisions that may suck now, but feel great later.
Some examples of how self care takes prioritisation and discipline.
Choosing to go to bed early, rather than staying up and watching that next episode of Game of Thrones or whatever box set you’ve started.
Waking up early to make time for exercise, even just some stretches or walking.
Taking the time to source and cook nutritious food. Drink plenty of water.
Listening to your body and meeting your needs , rest if you need to, stop thinking about it as doing nothing, or saying “I haven’t achieved anything “. You are doing something, you’re resting, or recharging.
Self Care is necessary, and it’s not at all selfish.
Start a self care plan. Perhaps adding in just one self care habit a week, then twice a week and so on, until you are building self care habits daily.
Take care, practice self care and see how good it feels.
Carole x
Mindfulness and Self Care Coach