Are you a people pleaser?

People pleasing is embedded in us in childhood. We adjust our needs to meet others expectations in order to receive our parents or guardians approval and love. Some of us were forced to ignore our needs entirely and solely concentrate on our parents needs. It becomes an unconscious means of survival in childhood. 

We seldom realise in adulthood how much people pleasing is actually self sabotage. Remember every time you do something your gut tells you isn’t right for you, but you do it anyway because it means people will still like you or validate your value? Or you’re afraid to be judged for being outside the unspoken lines? 

You are not choosing yourself when you people please. You are telling the world around you I do not need to be considered, because I will forget my needs/wants/desires in order to keep the peace or not be seen in a negative light. 

How much do you deny yourself, before you break this pattern of needing others approval? Of over explaining yourself every time you decide you’re going to make a decision that works for you ,when no explanation is even required? 

No one will choose you, except you. Become conscious of your decisions today and ask yourself this at the point of deciding. 

Am I doing this for others approval or for my own approval? 

As an adult you are allowed to do what is for your own approval. If people step back and no longer approve of you, know they are making room for the people that love and validate you for who you are.

It is so important to create and maintain safe boundaries.

Take care

Carole xx

Mindfulness teacher and self care coach