What are habits and how to create better ones

Habits are actions done repeatedly, mostly automatically.

Examples can be using your phone straight after waking up, or before going to sleep, cleaning your ears after taking a bath, always washing your hands after doing the housework, or cleaning your teeth before bed. Other habits are smoking a cigarette after eating a meal or drinking beer or wine after work.

You will see some habits can either be good or bad. They can either be beneficial or harmful to us and to those around us.

And the hardest part is that most habits are done on automatic pilot. Which means we are not necessarily aware that we’re doing them. Yes, we are doing them, but we lack the awareness and consciousness.

Often we do habits without a reason, it’s just because it’s a habit. Sounds simple doesn’t it?

Habits are powerful because we don’t use that much brain power, meaning, less effort.

So, if we’re talking about creating habits to be happy, we’re talking about things you’ll do automatically. Everything almost automatic. How cool is that?

So, let’s look at creating better habits in order to increase our own levels of happiness

Live in the present moment

Stressing about the past won’t make you happy. Rehearsing and worrying about the future won’t make you happy. Stop.

Instead, try to focus your energy on the present. Think about it, now is all you have, all the actions you can do will be about be done NOW.

It’s okay to plan, but it’s not healthy to focus too much on the future. And likewise, it’s okay to learn from the past, but never stay in that head space.

Practice gratitude.

If you’re finding it hard to live in the moment, focus on the good things that every moment brings.

A roof above your head, food on your plate, a healthy body, a happy family. Give appreciation and as you do so, you’ll find that your mind will tune more into what is good.

I repeat, the more you look for the good things each moment, the more you’ll see more good things. How great is that?

Focus on your “happy place.”

Your happy place can be anything. A concert to your favourite band, the beach, somewhere quiet, somewhere with your loved one.

It can also be a thing or a person.

Whatever it is, you can train yourself to focus on them…

…rather than spending your energy on things that don’t make you happy.

If you can’t go to the beach right now and you really love the beach, you can just visualise you’re there.

Or if you like getting out into nature, aim to go there, or use visualisation to take you to that happy place.

You can train your mind to see a happy place everywhere you go. Repeat the following affirmation every day:

“I take love, peace, kindness, and happiness with me wherever I go.”

Know what you can and cannot control.

Anxiety is often caused by wanting things to be different.

Have the courage to change what you can change……the strength to accept what you cannot….

…and the wisdom to know the difference.

If you attach yourself to the outcomes of things in your life which you have no control over, you might be disappointed .

On the same note, you cannot control what other people do. Only you are responsible for your happiness. Control your thoughts with affirmations, visualisation and relaxation. That way, you’ll always be relaxed, no matter what happens.

Why? Because you’ve accepted that you have no control over everything.

Get excited, like a child.

When was the last time you had fun like a child? When was the last time you saw the world as through the eyes of a toddler?

When was the last time you laughed for silly reasons—the way that adults won’t?

If you can, try this: lie down outside on your back, stare up the trees and the sky. See how relaxing and peaceful it feels!

Give time

This is an important one. When you give others your time, you’ll feel instantly better.

Contribute to any cause that you feel passionate about. Get to know people. Smile.

Make people feel wanted and make them feel that they matter. Because they really do.

Focus on what you can do for someone else. And make a commitment to do it every week, or every month, whichever works for you.

Repeat this affirmation:

I make a positive difference in people’s lives, and they make a positive difference in mine.

Painting

Have you tried finger painting?

Just paint using your hands, no rules. Just follow your instincts and paint as you want to. There’s no right or wrong way. Just paint, make your hands flow with the paper.

Let your ideas come out through the movement of your coloured fingers. Don’t worry about getting dirty! Just enjoy the moment and see what happens. You might want to do it again.

Write your heart out

Maybe you’d rather write in a series of thoughtful words rather than paint, do so.

If you’re feeling a little stressed, write it out. Why are you stressed? What can you do to make it better? Also, you can write a mock letter to the person causing you to feel that way, and you don’t need to send it.

You may if you want to.

Write freely, without any reservations about what you can or cannot say.

Don’t sugarcoat or censor anything. The very act of writing what you feel can purge the feeling and lead you to a way to happiness and relaxation.

Get to know where you came from

Ask an older member of your family about his/her life back then. You might know stories about what you did when you were younger, but not the stories of your family.

This is a fun way to relate and understand where you came from. It also makes the bond between you and your family stronger.

This is a way to gain perspective about yourself, the people around you, and the world.

Now that you know some of the better habits you can do to create your own happiness, which of them will you take action upon?

Happiness is something we generate inside. It’s not something that’s given to us. It’s never in the hands of other people to give you your happiness.

Learn to create your own happiness by giving and laughing like a child. When you realise you have the power to create your own happiness. You’ll be unstoppable!

Take Care

Carole xxx

Mindfulness teacher and self care coach